Exploring the Mysteries of the Tarot

Yesterday I decided I wanted to write. I felt in the mood for creative writing, but was in need of an idea to run with. So I thought it would be a good idea to look through my tarot cards for inspiration, as most cards depict some elaborate scene. As I was looking through the cards, I noticed something I hadn't noticed before. The Devil was giving the Vulcan salute.

Now, I didn't believe that it could have been meant as such because the cards are far older than Star Trek, however it did pique my interest. I decided to Google it and see what I could come up with.

It turns out that the Vulcan salute was essentially based off of a Jewish hand gesture of blessing, which carried a similar meaning to that of the Vulcan salute. Live long and prosper. Moreover, apparently there was a similar Egyptian gesture that also carried a similar meaning. Life, prosperity and health.

However, when I Googled the card and its symbolism, only one website so much as acknowledged the presence of that gesture. So, I emailed them asking their opinion on the meaning of that connection. I am still awaiting their reply.

But why would the devil be using such a gesture? Well, I read that on that same hand, there is the sign of Saturn, which often symbolizes limitations and inertia. That, mixed with the blessing could potentially be a warning of the limitations associated with the devil's means.

I've included a picture of the card in question. Take a look. What do you think?

Fear

There are a number of emotions that are powerful in their own right, but none so profoundly widespread and limiting as fear. It binds us, restricts us and prevents us from acting upon our impulses and inspiration. This can, at times, be a positive force, preventing us from doing things that may cause damage to those around us. But oftentimes it is the primary barrier that each of us must overcome in order to achieve the goals we each strive for.

Fear has been the emotion that I personally have struggled with far more than any other emotion. I am not quick to anger, and much of my life is filled with love; I have made peace with sadness, but still I find myself completely floored by fear.

Perhaps it might be best to simply take it at face value and retreat whenever fear is present. Or perhaps I should go to the other extreme and confront each fear that faces me. I feel the best course of action is to navigate the middle ground and decide which fears are to be confronted, and which are to be respected. However, this presents the pivotal dilemma: which fears are which?

It frustrates me that there is no answer to that question. No matter where I look for the answers, there will never be an ultimate life dictator who knows absolutely what is right and what is wrong. If I go with my instincts, I may be wrong in the eyes of others, I may even be wrong in my own eyes, and there may never be any vindication.

A Step Forward

Back in high school I began writing a book. I had been sitting alone at home thinking 'I feel like writing!', so that's exactly what I did. I wrote the first thing that popped into my head and went with it. That led to writing 3 (unedited) chapters of a book that I actually felt really proud of. I brought them to my Writer's Craft teacher and she loved it. She encouraged me to write more, however, that was when the writing stopped.

I had no idea where to take the story. Like many writers, I had written the story loosely based around my own life experiences (loosely). I didn't know where I was going, so how could I know where the story would go? I put it aside and never picked it back up again, but it has been sitting in the back of my mind for years.

Today I decided I was going to do something about it. I was going to deconstruct what I already had written and create a three act plot. It's still very rough, and largely just brainstorming, but now I feel like I've almost got something worth telling. A few more tweaks of the plot points, and planting seeds along the way, and I could potentially start writing it again.

Ideally, I'd like to have the plot worked out in detail with chapter summaries and then edit the first few chapters so they are essentially ready for printing. Then, I'll go around to literary agents and see if anyone's interested. If no one is, I may still write it anyway but at least I'll know that I tried. Regardless of the outcome, however, I am pleased to have taken this small step.

How I Became a Member at CostCo

My husband had the past few days off work and so on his first day off, we did something crazy : we drove to another city! Now, for those of you who know him, you know that my husband is pretty nervous about driving around in unfamiliar territory. In Guelph, he avoids driving downtown entirely because it's too stressful. So you can imagine my excitement when he announced that we'd take a trip into Kitchener (I love exploring new places).

The purpose of the trip was to find the perfect set of skates for him at Pro Hockey Life, but while we were there, we thought it might be fun to go to CostCo. Neither of us had ever been inside one before and it seemed like a novel idea.

When we entered the large, grey building, we were stopped by an employee who demanded to see our membership passes. Since we're not members, we were escorted to a saleswoman who told us every way in which we can benefit from a membership. We asked if we could just walk around and come back out, but apparently they don't allow visitor's passes anymore. If we wanted in, we'd have to become members.

Once we got to the membership counter, we were bombarded with questions about different offers we could take them up on, and they demanded to have our driver's licenses. They got all the information out of us that they could, and were very pushy about the entire process. When it came time to pay for the membership (which we planned on cancelling before we left that day so as to receive the full reimbursement), we were informed that they didn't take Visa. The only credit card they took was American Express. Maybe it's because Canada Day is coming up, or maybe it just pisses me off that American Corporations seem to feel they can come in and erase Canadian culture and turn us all into the Americans of the North, but that pissed me off. I wouldn't have minded as much if they had said that they only accept cash or debit. But to accept only American Express....that was just too far. Yes, I realize that Visa is headquarters in the States...but...the nationalist branding of Amex is too much for me. Yes, branding matters.

To add to the general discomfort of the whole ordeal, we had to get our pictures taken for our membership card. I hadn't showered, wasn't wearing makeup, had been sweating all day....it was not fun. But it was over very quickly and it would get destroyed soon enough anyway.

Once we got in, it was an overwhelming experience. This was the single most depressing place I'd ever been to in my entire life. Beyond the sheer esthetics of the warehouse decor, I felt the most incredible sense of malaise. I tend to be a pretty intuitive person, and being in that place made me feel sick. I nearly burst into tears. It was awful.

To make matters worse, things were barely cheaper than say, Giant Tiger or Zellers. It was difficult to find pricing and most items that were stocked, we wouldn't buy anyway. Interestingly, they had a Swarovski Crystal display, a jewellery display and countless other things that didn't seem to belong. Personally, I don't care about cost...if you buy me a ring from an antique store or a junk shop for $5...I'd vastly prefer that to one bought at CostCo for $50. You just don't buy sentimental things at CostCo....it just isn't right.

Needless to say, we ended our membership on the way out and vowed never to step foot in there ever again.

Car Trouble

The past 24 hours has been hard on my car. Yesterday, while driving back home from the mall, my husband and I were stopped for a few seconds because it was rush hour traffic. When we were just about to keep rolling forward, we felt a massive jolt and realized that we'd been hit by the woman behind us. We pulled onto a quiet side road and to exchange information. To expediate the process, she gave us her business card. After assessing the damage (everything looked fine), we were on our way. I turned to my husband and remarked at how little damage had been done. He mentioned his neck was a bit sore, to which I responded by pulling out her card and drawing attention to her profession. She happened to be a massage therapist.

Jump to this afternoon, we went outside to head out to Subway for lunch and noticed something rather odd. Our car appeared to have one too few windows. Overnight someone had smashed out the driver's side window. The odd thing though, was that nothing was stolen. The hockey inline skates, the Easton hockey gloves, tennis rackets - none were stolen. We did however find traces of a glass hashpipe that must have been used to smash the window.

The window has since been replaced (Speedy Glass lives up to their name) and we're $300 poorer than we were this morning, but it could have been a lot worse.

Exhausted

I spent all day today working away at job hunting. Handing out resumes, talking with prospective employers and finally networking with the locals. It was all very tiring, but I managed to get quite a few leads and, more importantly, a morale boost. It had been taking me so long to find a job, I was beginning to think I was just hopeless. Now I know I just need to be a little bolder. The more I talk to people, the more opportunities present themselves and the better off I am.

Furthermore, the more social risks and nudging of my comfort zone I engage in, the more confident I become and that also brings about positive change. For the longest time, I had been too shy or embarrassed to play guitar and sing while my husband was within earshot. I'm not sure why, but the smaller the audience, the more nervous I become...especially when the audience is comprised of people I care about. But because of this confidence boost I got, I felt comfortable playing tonight at home and managed to finish writing one song that I had started writing about a month ago, and then I started writing another! He even came out and told me how much he loved it when I sang and how he wished I'd do it more often.

Just goes to show, to me anyhow, the dramatic power we all have to shape our own lives and create the life we want. The smallest and simplest of changes can have incredible results. You just have to go after what you want and try not to get cold feet while getting it.

Spicy Sunday Debut: Cinnamon

Don't we all just love cinnamon so much that we wish it grew on trees? Well, it does! Cinnamon is actually derived from the bark of Cinnamomum trees, of which there are a few. It is a spice that is widely used all over the world for a variety of foods and other purposes.

What other purposes, you ask? Well, it just so happens that, though untested, it is sometimes used to ward off mosquitos and in mice, cinnamon can help prevent Alzheimer's disease. When it comes to health benefits, cinnamon seems to have been used for just about everything, from digestion problems to the common cold. It's yet another food that is jam-packed with antioxidants, which we all know by now, thanks to the media, that antioxidants are great anti-agers that make you look and feel younger.

Beyond that, cinnamon can prevent colon cancer and heart disease. It can even be a player in preventing and treating diabetes due to its regulatory effect on blood sugar levels.

Wow! Cinnamon's great, isn't it? And the best part is that I've never known anyone to dislike the taste of cinnamon (especially when combined with brown sugar). It tastes great in just about every baked good, on apples and other fruit and even in a wide array of beverages. So stock up on your cinnamon and enjoy!

Triple Bran : New Developments

This morning I thought I'd take the cinnamon/brown sugar mix and add some ginger to make it taste even more like gingerbread. I'm pretty undecided about it. I think it's an improvement. Plus, these additional spices are pretty good for you, so the more the merrier. In fact...that has just inspired me to write another blog post in the future, or maybe a series of blog posts about spices and their various health properties.

So stay tuned for Spicy Sundays!

Making Triple Bran Taste Good: Attempt #3

I have to admit, I was a little tempted not to post this because in my head, this was going to be an epic series of posts wherein I try every flavour combination known to man until I finally find the magic combination that makes it alright and that last flavour would be the last bowl in the box.

Instead, I'm going to have to tell you that after only three attempts, I am pretty sure I found the best combination. Cinnamon and brown sugar with milk. It kind of makes it taste like a strange gingerbread cookie. Still a bit of a gross after taste, but not bad.

I am still, however, going to accept other flavour challenges if anyone suggests it...you know, for kicks.

Making Triple Bran Taste Good: Attempt #2

This morning I intended on having Triple Bran just with milk as a baseline measurement of taste. After about two mouthfuls, I decided I'd gotten a pretty good handle on the level of gross and could try to make it taste better. Interestingly though, I think it tasted better with milk than with yogurt.

This time around I decided to add honey. Just a tablespoon, though maybe I should have added more. It was a definite improvement, but I'm not 100% sold. I think tomorrow I will try that suggestion of cinnamon and brown sugar. Besides, I recall hearing somewhere that cinnamon was really good for you...the sugar less so, but you really need them both.

Raspberry Cream Muffins

I love to bake muffins, and my husband loves to eat muffins. Usually I go for the banana variety, but today I felt like something different. Well, almost different. I decided to break out my old favourite recipe that was in my family's Company's Coming cookbook. Raspberry Cream Muffins.

Here's all you need to make these delectable delights:

• 1/2 cup softened butter
• 2/3 cup sugar
• 2 eggs
• 1/2 cup sour cream
• 1 tsp vanilla
• 1/4 tsp cinnamon
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1/2 tsp baking soda
• 1 tsp baking powder
• 2 cups flour
• 1 cup frozen raspberries

Ok, so that kind of looks like a long list, but trust me, it's super easy. I cut off the right amount of butter from the stick of butter and left it on the counter while I ran to the store to get sour cream. We were all out and it takes a little while for the butter to soften anyway. So...however long it takes you to run to the store to pick up last minute ingredients, that's how long you leave the butter out on the counter softening.

Once I had all the ingredients, I creamed the sugar and butter together, added each egg, beating them in there pretty good then added the vanilla and sour cream and kept mixing till it was all a lovely goo. Then, because I lack the proper amount of mixing bowls, I added the dry ingredients straight to the goo, but left out the flour. The non-flour dry ingredients are pretty minimal, so just add them and make sure they're well-mixed before you add the flour. Once it all was mixed thoroughly, I added the raspberries, making sure to get them mixed evenly.

After that you just pop 'em into a muffin pan lined with muffin cups and bake them at 350F for about half an hour.

I took some pictures to give you an idea of what the batter should look like, how much to fill the muffin cups and what they should look like when they're done.

The Haunting

I just realized that I've been avoiding the Triple Bran cereal. For the past two days, I have specifically not eaten it. I had eggs, bacon and toast yesterday and then today I finished up the last of my rice crispies, garnished with frozen raspberries. Tomorrow I will have no choice but to eat the Triple Bran.

That cereal haunts me. It knows I have no other options. It mocks me from the kitchen cabinet, knowing full well that I'm too frugal to buy food and not eat every last bite of it. It also knows that the nutritional value alone is enough to draw me back in and ignore the gustatory pain.

Rest assured, I WILL CONQUER YOU, TRIPLE BRAN!!!!

Making Triple Bran Taste Good: Attempt #1

I was at the grocery store yesterday and spent some time comparing nutritional information of cereals and discovered that 1/2 cup of "Triple Bran" (store brand cereal) contained 60% of your daily intake of iron. NOTHING has 60% of your daily intake of iron in such a small quantity. Well, maybe meat, but I know very little about meat's nutritional values. Then I looked at the price. It was less than $3! So I decided to try it.

Well, if you've ever had Bran Buds....these are grosser. So, I need to figure out how to make this tastey. My first attempt was this morning. I mixed it with some strawberry yogurt. Good, right? Wrong. So very wrong. I think something about the fruity flavour brings out the nasty in the cereal.

Attempt #1 failed. Anyone else have any suggestions? I may try regular milk tomorrow, just to get a base measure of taste. The more suggestions, the better!

Social-ize...ing?

I decided that since I've been trying to eat healthy, stay active and take care of myself, I really can't do that while completely isolated. Otherwise, what's the point? Humans are social beings and really can't be happy without other people to share that happiness with. So, I'm going to make a concerted effort to keep in touch with people.

I think somewhere along the line, I told myself that I should never speak unless spoken to or even acknowledge others until they acknowledge me first. But...I think a lot of people also follow that principal, which results in a lot of ridiculously (and unconvincingly) pretending we don't know the people we do in fact know.

I'm going to stop this nonsense and step up. I'm going to say hi and touch base with people that I haven't talked to in a little while. Try to nurture those relationships and maintain them. It'll be hard at first, but hopefully I bet it'll be worth it.

Ohhh Man!

Yesterday my husband and I took the plunge: we bought cell phones!

He had never had a cell phone before, and I had one once that was part of my mom's cell phone plan. It's use was pretty limited and I never ended up using it for anything but a clock. So, we're pretty new to this whole cellular technology thing. Since this was such an epic event in our lives, we decided to go all out and get a really good couple of phones and the best plan we could reasonably afford.

We bought two HTC Legend Smartphones powered by Android. $250 each. Lucky for us, Virgin mobile has a "supertabs" option whereby we only pay 10% of the cost of the phone ($2.50) each month and when we decide we want to cancel our plan, the only cost is the remaining price of the phone. Sure, we won't get the phone for free nor will we get a free PS4, but we also can walk away from this deal whenever we want and only owe them the remaining cost of the phones, which is way better than the typical cancellation fee especially when you consider that we will have been paying down the phones in easy payments with no accumulating interest.

We get unlimited texting, unlimited evenings and weekend calling, no activation fee, no anything fee really and we got some free cases thrown in. We even get "My 10" as opposed to the typical "My 5"...which pretty much takes care of all the people we call on a regular basis anyway.

What will happen to us? Will we suddenly become chained to our technology like the rest of the world? Will we lose whatever social skills we had in place of texting skills? Who knows...only time will tell.

Ok...now I really need to land a job.

"Bus Pass of Freedom" Or "Genuine Leather"

Before my dentist appointment yesterday, I decided to go out and buy a bus pass. If I use it frequently, it's WAY cheaper than buying tickets or using exact change plus it motivates me to explore the city since the more I use it, the better deal it is. I went to Metro initially to buy the pass but apparently they sell out of them within the first couple days of the month, and this was the 6th. So, I moseyed on over to a convenience store in the mall to get one. To be honest I was less than thrilled at having to buy a pass at a place that doesn't take credit, but I did it anyway and now I have my ticket to freedom.

However, the bus pass isn't all nice and laminated like other cards. It's just cardboard, like a really flimsy business card. Clearly I had to go out and buy a new wallet that would have that little laminated flap thingy. Besides, the wallet I'd been using (since grade 10 or so) was getting pretty old and was really just a change purse. No organization to it whatsoever. So today I went out to find myself a new wallet.

I still don't have a job, so I hit the thrift stores, hoping to get something decent for less than $5. After sifting through bins of purses, I finally found a little black wallet, with the clear flip thingy with the words 'Genuine Leather' stamped into the bottom. For $2, this one was the winner.

Unfortunately, the wallet is slightly too big to comfortably fit into my pant pockets...so maybe I'll have to get a nice bag...

My Horoscope Told Me To

I'm going to share a dirty little secret about myself : once a month, I read a very long, very detailed horoscope. And take it seriously.

Yes, I realize that people who are all learned and university edumacated tend not to believe in silly things like astrology, but I think I just can't let go of my 13 year old self. The one who read book after book about witchcraft, paganism, astrology and divination. The one who, in all seriousness, took her parents aside and sat them down to tell them that she had thought a lot about it, and she was going to convert to paganism. I just can't admit to myself that magic(k) doesn't exist.

More to the point, I was reading said horoscope and among other directives, it said I should take care of any nagging medical issues I'd been having. Since the last time I went to the dentist, I've had the most incredible sensitivity to temperature in the area where my last cavity was filled. I finally decided to bite the bullet and make an appointment...because my horoscope told me to.

Yesterday was the appointment and to my delight, nothing too painful happened. The dentist did some tests and an x-ray and decided that I should be on antibiotics for a week. It's possible that all I need to do to fix this several month issue is take some pills for a few days. Obviously I am now on antibiotics.

The downside though...is that if the antibiotics don't work I only have two options. Pull the tooth, or get a root canal done. Neither option sounds particularly good. So, here's hoping the drugs do their job!

Restored

The past couple days have been all about fixing my guitars. The acoustic's neck was inching away from the body, making the action ridiculously high which in turn made it difficult to play higher up on the fretboard. We fixed it by putting some heavy duty carpenter's glue in the crack and then tightening it to the body with a ratchet strap. After a day of drying and the addition of new strings, it's good as new!

The electric appeared to have troubles with the circuitry, but when we opened it up, nothing seemed amiss. So we screwed everything back into place and it worked again like new! Turns out it just had a few screws loose. I suppose it's not just dogs that mimic their owners, eh?

So now I've got two working guitars, a mic and a keyboard! I still need a mic stand and preferably a second amp, but that'll come. All in good time. I'm kind of hoping now that when friends come over, we can all try to play together. Wouldn't that be fun?

It may sound silly, but restoring those guitars, especially my electric for some reason, makes me feel like I'm alive again. Not that I was feeling particularly dead before, but it's like waking from a sleep that felt very real and you realize 'Now THIS is real!'.

Morning Walk

This morning I went for a nice, long walk. Well, it was about 45 minutes long. But this was no ordinary walk. This morning there was a torrential downpour with lightening and thunder. I embarked on my walk just as the rain stopped, but the skies were still dark and you could smell the rain on the wind. The cover of wetness made all the colours appear more vivid than ever before. It smelled beautiful, looked beautiful and felt beautiful. The air was a little cool but humid enough to feel comforting. Then I turned on Tori Amos's Abnormally Attracted to Sin album and the experience was complete. I've found that Tori Amos is best appreciated in the rain. Or shortly after the rain.

And to think, I almost missed out on all of this. The reason for the walk was that today there was to be an event in the park involving live contemporary dance. I wasn't going to go because I assumed it would be cancelled due to the weather. Because I hadn't found any information anywhere regarding whether or not they were still going ahead with the performance, I went anyway and I'm glad I did. There was no dancing when I got to the park, but I was able to enjoy the most beautiful part of the day with Tori.

Home Remedy

The other day I was preparing dinner, and while pouring out the boiling hot water from the spaghetti, I accidentally burned my fingers pretty badly. Bad enough for involuntary crying. I ran my fingers under lukewarm water like what you're supposed to do, but it was still unbearably painful. Putting ice on it also was no good because each time I took the ice off, the throbbing got worse.

After a few hours, I decided to do a Google search on home remedies for burns. For immediate relief, one website said, put dish soap on the affected area. I tried it, but unfortunately, it was only for immediate relief, not for long term relief. So I kept reading and the next option that I could try was putting honey on my fingers. Honey, apparently, has healing properties. I guess that's why it's so good in facials.

So I tried it, and I must say that even though it did next to nothing initially, as I allowed it to sit there on my skin, the pain lessened until after 20 minutes or so, I barely noticed I'd been burned. Now, two days later, there are no noticeable effects of having burned myself. It's not sensitive, not discoloured. Nothing. Just healed. So, I highly recommend that after running the burned area under water, you should definitely apply some honey. It's magical.